Feeling valued is a privilege now that I think about it. Nevertheless, I am blessed with family who cares for and loves me. But, my mind always strays to think of those who don’t feel like they have any significance. Even more so, what about those whose parents mistreat them or those who are the object of deep betrayal by those whom they trusted most. Now, from what I can tell, most people have family who care about them. But, I feel that the Spirit of God wants me to write this post to address those who feel like no one cares about them. Even if not applicable to you, this post shows the Christian perspective and how God views it. So continue reading.
Why Do People Like Feeling Valued?
When I say “feeling valued” is something which people want, I’m saying people want significance. They want to be important to at least someone in this world.
And we see this motive manifested in all sorts of people. A lot of people go into romantic relationships and start a family just to have this feeling. Others do the opposite, they focus on their careers and sacrifice family time for the sake of building a legacy. And it is through legacy, that these people share their value with others, even future generations.
Even more, this feeling must be met by young children for healthy development. It is often said by psychologists and anyone who’s a good parent, that children need to feel loved.
All of the scenarios shows how people do things just to be valued by others whether it be one’s family members or society itself.
But why do we have this feeling? From where does this need arise? I believe this feeling comes from an instinct we need as highly social creatures.
It comes from the fact that we were created to have fellowship with Our Heavenly Father.
Genesis 3:8 (World English Bible)
8 They heard Yahweh God’s voice walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of Yahweh God among the trees of the garden.
After the creation of humanity, God walked in the Garden of Eden on what seems to be a regular basis. In fact, it seems he wanted to walk with Adam and Eve. God had created them with the intention of communion. He wanted to interact and have a relationship with us.
And so, God created us with this social nature. He designed us to have this desire to be wanted by others. He wrote it into our DNA.
What Does God Think of Me?
For most of us, the ultimate indicator of feeling valued comes from the people we first meet. Our parents. It is often our parents who show us that they love us. However, unlike most, there are some parents who are not emotionally expressive. And some rare cases are manipulative or abusive to their God-given children.
But even for these children, what does God think of them?
Isaiah 49:15 (World English Bible)
15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Yes, these may forget,
yet I will not forget you!
God rhetorically asks if a mother, the symbol of ultimate human affection, can forget her baby. And yet, God, responds to His own question that even though she forget her child, never can the heart of God forget that child.
Proverbs 22:2 (World English Bible)
2 The rich and the poor have this in common:
Yahweh is the maker of them all.
No matter the condition you’re born in, no matter who loves you in this world, God loves you.
Feeling Valued by God
Let me share this one case from the Bible where God promised Abraham that he would have many children despite his old age. However, Sarah, Abraham’s wife, told Abraham to have children with Hagar, her servant so that he might have an heir. And Hagar did give birth to a child, Ishmael, but, so did Sarah and her child, Isaac is the result of God’s promise.
So, long story short, Hagar’s son was mocking Sarah but Sarah wouldn’t have it so she kicked both Ishmael and his mother out and into the wilderness.
Now, the point I want to make here is that Ishmael was ultimately what we would consider a mistake. He was the result of Abraham producing a child out of fear that he wouldn’t have an heir. Ishmael was the consequence of Abraham’s disobedience to God.
But what was God’s response?
Genesis 21:17-20 (World English Bible)
17 God heard the voice of the boy. The angel of God called to Hagar out of the sky, and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Don’t be afraid. For God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. 18 Get up, lift up the boy, and hold him with your hand. For I will make him a great nation.” 19 God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. She went, filled the container with water, and gave the boy a drink. 20 God was with the boy, and he grew. He lived in the wilderness, and as he grew up, he became an archer.
God cared about what we as humans would consider a mistake. Even if that boy was the result of disobedience to His plan, God still loved the boy. And He blessed that boy, when Abraham couldn’t be a father, God became his father.
Psalm 68:5 (World English Bible)
5 A father of the fatherless, and a defender of the widows,
is God in his holy habitation.
Let me conclude with this. No matter what’s your origin story, God loves you. Moreover, the real question is asked by Lord Jesus.
Matthew 16:15
15 He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”
My answer is the same as Peter’s and if your answer is the same, then, I know you’ll get the same response as Lord Jesus gave to Peter.
Matthew 16:16-17
16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
17 Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.
So if you like feeling valued, don’t hope in human beings to provide you that comfort. Rather, place everything in God’s hands and let Him love you. If God loves you, it doesn’t matter if the whole world hates you, when He’s on your side, that’s enough.
If you don’t already have a relationship with God, then, please read my advice concerning that here.