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The Benefits of Forgiveness in a World of Grudges

Why forgive? What’s in it for me? These are questions that I’ll be dissecting in this blog through a spiritual and mental health lens. The questions spring up from a common mentality within humans from all backgrounds, regardless of ethnicity, upbringing, or any other classifying factor. So, continue reading to learn of the benefits of forgiveness and if one should forgive others.

A World of Grudges?

Yes, our world is mainly a world of grudges. Our world is not in its prime state and people often struggle with forgiving those who do wrong. We often find ourselves saying things like “Don’t get mad, get even,” or “I’ll show you a piece of me.” And sadly, this is what the world considers as “natural,” or “normal.”

2 Corinthians 4:4 King James Version (KJV)
4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

The Bible drives home the fact that many in this world are blind. And the Bible says that the “god of this world” has blinded them.

This title is just another label for the devil, a being whose wickedness and bitterness blinds the hearts of those who have not yet witnessed the love of Christ.

However, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God who made this world and designed your very DNA, is the one who loves you.

John 3:16 King James Version (KJV)
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

He came down in the flesh as Lord Jesus Christ and was led to crucifixion by jealous, hypocritical religious leaders who hated Lord Jesus for healing the sick, loving the scum of the earth, and saving the damned.

Furthermore, your hell met Jesus Christ at the cross so His Heaven could meet you when you allow Him into your life as Lord and Saviour. And after three days in burial, Lord Jesus Christ rose again, victoriously conquering death in your place.

The Benefits of Forgiveness

Accepting Lord Jesus Christ means He forgave your sins, so why not learn from Him how to forgive your debtors.

Colossians 3:13 King James Version (KJV)
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Plus, it’s not like forgiveness is without benefits. Forgiving others does benefit you and that’s the truth.

One might ask, “Well how does forgiving the rascal help me?”

Here’s how…

Forgiveness allows you to preserve relationships that might turn out helpful in the future.

Psalm 133:1 King James Version (KJV)
133 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

Forgiveness pleases God as God is forgiving.

Colossians 3:13 King James Version (KJV)
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Forgiveness grants you the chance to imitate your Heavenly Father.

Ephesians 5:1 World English Bible (WEB)
5 Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children.

Forgiveness relieves you the burden of bearing a grudge, and grudges are an opportunity for the devil to harm you.

2 Corinthians 2:10-11 World English Bible (WEB)
10 Now I also forgive whomever you forgive anything. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, 11 that no advantage may be gained over us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.

Remember, the benefits of forgiveness I just listed are only a fraction of the many reasons to forgive others. I just listed the ones I could think of at the moment. Nevertheless, I hope that the last reason especially caught your eye.

As the truth is that holding grudges is an opportunity for the devil (Satan) to wreak havoc in your life.

That is why in the above Bible verse, Paul decided to forgive everyone. This doesn’t mean you have to trust people you’ve forgiven which I talk about in this post. But, Paul did not want the devil to take advantage of any unforgiveness.

Motives of the Heart

So, if someone hurt a loved one of yours, or embarrassed you in some way or manner, just let it go. Also, I am not belittling their mistakes or your loss, but, I am recommending forgiveness for your sake.

Again, this does not mean you need to trust the person you’ve forgiven, it just means you need to let go of the grudge you hold against him/her.

And, now, I want you to change the way you think. If you’re forgiving others for your own benefit, that’s good, but, if you’re forgiving others because you understand God’s love for them and you want to share with that lost person the forgiving love of God, that’s admirable.

1 Corinthians 16:14 World English Bible (WEB)
14 Let all that you do be done in love.

However, whatever the motive behind your forgiveness, the main thing is that you forgive the person. I was just offering a tidbit of advice if you’re ready for it.

2 Corinthians 3:18 King James Version (KJV)
18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Therefore, relieve others of the sins they’ve done unto you and make the decision to forgive others. You don’t need to feel anything out of your forgiveness, you just need to decide to forgive.

Ephesians 4:32 King James Version (KJV)
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

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How to Resist the Temptation of Anger

Self-centered anger is often a temptation. And there are a lot of people out there, well-meaning people, who think it okay to remain angry. But for the sake of your mental health, I believe it is more important to deal with your anger. Anger can be a very dangerous thing with any person and has ruined countless lives throughout history. So, to find out as to how to resist the temptation of anger, continue reading.

Is It Really a Temptation?

Now, anger is a spontaneous emotion, usually. It is something you can’t always control. If someone does something which really upsets you, then, you get angry immediately. And a lot of the time, anger is not a bad thing. I’ll talk about the positive side of anger in the next subsection.

But, what I am mostly talking about in this post is the negative side of anger. This type of anger is when you are upset at an individual and you remain upset for a long time. It’s the type of anger which you label as a grudge. Another type of bad anger is the anger that causes you to do things which God does not like. These things include making derogatory remarks or assaulting the offensive individual.

Romans 14:23 World English Bible (WEB)
23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because it isn’t of faith; and whatever is not of faith is sin.

And whenever anger leads you to do something which you know God doesn’t like or something which manifests your self-centered behaviour, it is a temptation. The decision to indulge in that temptation or to resist its appeal is up to you. Even more, the decision you make, reveals your priorities. Do you prioritize yourself or God? Whatever you do which is apart from faith, is wrong in God’s eyes. So, clearly, doing something out of anger with evil intentions is as far apart from faith as you can get.

I can tell you right here and now that God prioritized you over His anger. He came in the flesh as a human being, Jesus Christ. And with the authority to call down legions of angels capable of annihilating any trace of human existence, God allowed Himself to be tortured and crucified by people who hated Him. And why is that? It is because His love for you and me is more powerful than anything on the face of this planet! I talk more about it in this post.

That is why I plea to you to accept God’s love, to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour where He will enter your life to transform it.

Romans 10:9 King James Version (KJV)
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Godly Anger

Moreover, I will grant you this. The Bible says if someone angers you, don’t act out your anger. And by the end of the day, get a hold of yourself. Ask God to give you the grace to calm down by the end of the day.

Ephesians 4:26 World English Bible (WEB)
26 “Be angry, and don’t sin.”Psalm 4:4 Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath,

Make sure you don’t do anything outside of what you know God wants you to do. God does not want you to hurt others or to say mean things. He wants you to love people. But if you can’t love that person at the moment, at least forgive that person. Forgiveness is just a choice where you decide to let go of the debts that person owes your conscience just as God forgave you.

Now, there’s a type of anger which is not sinful. This type of anger is godly anger. It is when you are angry for the sake of others or for the unjust things people do to God’s kingdom.

So, if someone is abusing another person, that will naturally anger you because God loves people. Or if someone is mocking God or harming His creation such as the environment, that should also anger you. However with all these things, make sure it doesn’t cause you to sin in retaliation just as the above Bible verse says.

John 2:13-17 World English Bible (WEB)
13 The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 He found in the temple those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves, and the changers of money sitting. 15 He made a whip of cords, and threw all out of the temple, both the sheep and the oxen; and he poured out the changers’ money and overthrew their tables. 16 To those who sold the doves, he said, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a marketplace!” 17 His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will eat me up.”Psalm 69:9

So, in the example above, Jesus was full of zealous anger. Jesus Christ grew angry when people were being corrupt and selling things for profit in God’s sacred temple. This type of anger is good, it is not a sin to be angry when angry because of your faith in Christ Jesus. But even with this, God knew what He was doing.

2 Corinthians 5:21 World English Bible (WEB)
21 For him who knew no sin he made to be sin on our behalf; so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

In verse 15, it says Jesus made a whip of cords to throw over the tables, this shows that Jesus planned what He was going to do and was doing it with purpose. He did not kill anyone or do anything which is rash. He manifested His righteous anger without sinning as we should do if our righteous anger is incurred.

How to Resist the Temptation of Anger?

In conclusion, how is it that you must resist the temptation of bad anger? It is only through Christ Jesus. When someone offends you, give it straight away to God. Ask Him for the grace to forgive and just don’t act out your anger. Allow God to calm you.

If you know yourself as an angry person in general, then put your selfish anger to death. Remember that when Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and for me, your selfish anger died with Him, too. Now, it is not in you to be an angry person.

Colossians 3:5 World English Bible (WEB)
5 Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Surrender yourself alongside your pride, to God, and remember that you are a child of God who He loves. That is your identity. The Bible does not call you an angry child of God, it calls you a beloved child of God.

Ephesians 5:1-2 World English Bible (WEB)
5 Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 Walk in love, even as Christ also loved us and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling fragrance.

Therefore, let God’s love and His Holy Spirit transform you. Soak yourself in the Word of God and really get to know Him. If you are tempted to do something out of anger, remember that Jesus Christ loves you and that you should forgive others as He forgave you of all your mistakes.

Luke 23:34 King James Version (KJV)
34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

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The Joy of Release Upon The One Who Releases

The Joy of Release

Everyone in this world has been wronged at some point of time. Now, the majority of people struggle with an emotional dungeon within. And the reason being is that many cannot release those who’ve wronged them from their emotional dungeon. But, I am telling you for your sake and for the sake of your mental health, the one who wronged you is not in that dungeon, no matter how much you believe it. The one in that dungeon is actually yourself and as long as you hold unforgiveness, you prolong your jail sentence. So, in this post, I’ll be discussing the joy of release which comes with forgiveness.

Forgiving Those Who Want Forgiveness

In the following passage, Jesus says something about forgiveness…

Luke 17:3-4 World English Bible (WEB)
3 Be careful. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in the day, and seven times returns, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”

In this passage, Jesus clearly talks about someone who returns to you and asks you for forgiveness. And when Jesus mentions the number of seven, He uses it to point out something.

Genesis 2:2-3 World English Bible (WEB)
2 On the seventh day God finished his work which he had done; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had done. 3 God blessed the seventh day, and made it holy, because he rested in it from all his work of creation which he had done.

If there’s one thing about Jesus, it’s that God doesn’t do coincidences. Everything He says, has something deeper within it. And when Jesus says that if someone wrongs you seven times, you must forgive him/her of everything, He is using seven as an indicator of rest.

When God made all the world, He rested on the seventh day. So, when you forgive someone who’s asking you for forgiveness, you put yourself into a restful position in life. God wants you to forgive because when you forgive, you are releasing not that person, but yourself.

Resting in His forgiveness means to forgive others, too

That’s why there’s such a unique joy of release upon the one who releases. When you release someone from their wrongs, you release yourself and you put yourself in a position to rest.

Forgiving Those Who Don’t Ask for Forgiveness

Now, you may be saying, “Hah hah, Andre, in the verse you gave above, Jesus said you must forgive if they come and repent before you, but He didn’t command us to forgive if they do not ask for forgiveness!”

That’s an interesting point to bring out but you must still remember the allegory of the dungeon. Whether the person you keep in your dungeon of unforgiveness asks to be released or not, that person is actually you! And the reason being is that when you hold unforgiveness, it hurts you.

Matthew 18:19-22 World English Bible (WEB)
19 Again, assuredly I tell you, that if two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the middle of them.”
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.

In this verse, no one mentions anything about granting forgiveness only to those who ask for it. Jesus just raises the bar a bit higher by saying you must forgive a person even 490 times in one day!

And I believe by the grace of Holy Spirit, God did not attach a need for the wrongdoer to ask for forgiveness in the above verse.

So, the truth is that you are obligated to forgive others not for their sake, but, for your sake. God never designed you to hold a dungeon of unforgiveness within your heart, He designed you to be a forgiving person!

The Joy of Release

So, I plea to you to release everyone and anyone from your unforgiveness because you are not only releasing them, but you are also releasing yourself. If you remain in unforgiveness, only you will suffer, and God cannot make a testimony out of one who holds unforgiveness forever.

Ephesians 4:32 World English Bible (WEB)
32 And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.

To enjoy the joy of release, you must release the ones you find hard to forgive. You just have to make the decision to forgive, you don’t have to feel it, but you must decide it.

Paul was talking to the Church of Ephesians in the above verse and He said to forgive others as God forgave you. So, when you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour who died on the cross and rose again after three days for your salvation which I talk about more in this post, God has automatically enabled you to forgive others.

Forgiveness is a decision and when you decide to forgive, God loves it. You don’t need to fast or beg God or do anything extreme to forgive, you just need to let go. Because once you’ve let Jesus rule in your heart, He already enables you to forgive, you just need to act upon it.

Therefore, this day, choose to forgive everyone who has wronged you whether they’re sorry or not, and taste the joy of release that comes with it! Walk by trusting in Jesus and decide to forgive, do not walk by your feelings to hold unforgiveness.

2 Corinthians 5:7 World English Bible (WEB)
7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Luke 23:34 – Jesus forgives

By Andre Wijesekera